My Fairytale
by jellybean-kitty
Summary: Hilary's world is perfect. She has the perfect family, perfect boyfriend and just a perfect life. However, she doesn't understand that there is no such thing as perfection. Such a thing doesn't exist.
1. Chapter 1

Well, I've came out of 'retirement' because this is a story that's been kicking about in my mind for some time and the only way to get it out is to pen it down. It'll be quite a short story, about 5 chapters or so with a sequel of about the same length. This is like nothing else I've ever written and is inspired by the song 'Beasts' by Slow Moving Millie.

So, without further ado, I give you "My Fairy Tale"

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade

Chapter 1

_A warm hand slid into her own and she felt her eyes stir, slowly at first, blinded by the bright sunshine spilling into the room. Sleepily she looked up at the owner of the hand and smiled. However it was short lived as she saw the tears running down her mothers face. Confused she tried to call out to her but no sound would leave her lips. She tried to squeeze her mother's fingers but couldn't make her own move. Scared, she looked around her, able to move her neck and no more. _

_Where was she?_

_This place, unfamiliar, white, haunting. The slight movement was enough to catch her mother's attention and caused her eyes to widen in disbelief._

"_Oh, Hilary," she whispered._

_Hilary tried to sit up but found she couldn't; not by physical immobility but because there were restraints across her chest. Panicked, she tried to lift her arms, feeling the blood return to her previously numb extremities but found these two were immobile, shackled to the bed by soft leather._

_Finding her voice she began to scream. No real words came out but only sound._

_Her mother's hand grabbed onto her shoulders in a bid to soothe her. "Hilary, please stop! Keep calm! It's okay, I'm here baby. You're okay." Hilary continued to thrash. She heard more people enter the room but her eyes didn't register any faces, only white uniforms. White, white, white everywhere. Where was her colour? "We're trying to help you. Stop it, for me! What should we do?" This last question wasn't directed at her but to some one else, an unfamiliar face._

"_We can't sedate her or she may recline again," the face's male voice replied. "Talk to her, she knows who you are. Convince her to stay."_

_The warm hand moved to her cheek, stroking it. Despite the situation, Hilary felt herself calming like she would when she was a child awakening from a nightmare. She looked into her mother's pale blue eyes full of hope, full of...fear? Fear for her? Why was her own mother scared of her? And what did this man mean by stay? Stay where? Here? Why would she want to?_

"_Mum," Hilary's voice whispered. "Let me go."_

_Slowly, her mother shook her head. The panic began to build up inside her chest again. She screamed and screamed and screamed and_

* * *

Screaming, Hilary shot up in her bed, chest rising and falling heavily. She could feel beads of sweat on her face. Gradually the reality dawned on her. It was a nightmare, just a nightmare. Looking around her, she took in all her familiar surroundings: wardrobe, chest of drawers, dressing table, all there and accounted for. And of course, the pink and lilac décor. Normality. Feeling exhausted she fell back on her bed and turned to look at her clock. It was seven thirty. Her alarm wasn't due to go off for another hour but grudgingly she knew that now she was awake there was no chance of her falling back asleep.

Stretching and taking enjoyment in the freedom of her movement, she rolled out of bed and reset her alarm to be used another day. She drew back her curtain and smiled. The morning was glorious. The sun was shining and only friendly white clouds dared to venture into the blue sky. It was a perfect summers day. Perhaps it was the terror of her dream, but this morning in particular she felt free, grateful just to be living. The birds had already began to sing, probably up for hours already. She looked at her smiling form in the mirror. Although she was just awake she still looked remarkably pretty, beautiful even. Her chocolate brown hair, though tousled by her restless sleep, was shining and bouncing with health. Even her flawless skin seemed to glow. Everything just seemed so...wonderful. Strange how nightmares seemed to have that effect on the mentality.

Although she would be very early, she decided just to get ready and make her way to the training centre. With any luck Kai would be there already and she could talk to him for a little while before the others arrived. Kai Hiwatari been her boyfriend for as long as she could remember and her second favourite person in the entire world and one of her most trusted friends. Her first, of course, were her collective family. There were only four of them but they were the most tight knit family she knew of: her mother, father, older brother and her. Not only were they close but they never wanted for anything. Her father was a high flying bank executive, earning enough money so her mother could stay at home and look after them. However, now that she and her brother were older her mother had taken up her retraining as a part time nurse, working three days a week.

It never took her very long to get ready. A shower, blowdry, touch of make up and pretty outfit later she had left her house with a slight skip in her step, first saying good bye to her parents who were amazed to find her up so early during the summer holidays. Although one of her parents nearly always offered to drive her, she rarely accepted a lift unless it was raining. It was only a twenty minute walk and in the summer sunshine, it was a lovely one. Letting her mind wander, she tried to think of the last time it had rained and found she couldn't. What a perfect summer they were having. As she passed her neighbours house she returned the wave given to her and bade them good morning. She loved that about this neighbourhood. Everyone was so friendly, so welcoming. Not that she'd every had the chance to experience another one. She had lived in the same house all her life with the same neighbours surrounding them.

As she entered the training centre it was bustling with activity already. The gym goers were getting a quick work out before heading to work, school children were making use of the off peak prices and several other people, aside from her and her friends, were using the training facilities in the upcoming tournament for a sport called beyblading – a high intensity sport where players used a spinning-top-esque weapon called a beyblade against the other players' to either make it run out of momentum or knock it clear out of the playing area, known as a beydish. At the current time it was the most popular sport worldwide and her own team, called the Bladebreakers, were the world champions. Although she didn't blade, it was her job, along with Kai and another non-blader called Kenny, to devise a training schedule for the team and, more importantly, ensure that all team members stuck to it. She also took control of publicity and making tournament arrangements, including collecting tournament details and checking and organising prematch arrangements. She and Kenny may not contribute directly to their teams success but she still though that they were valuable members of the team.

Walking into their designated training room she smiled at the familiar sight of their team captain, Kai, already hard at work perfecting his launch technique. His back was turned to her but even then it was easy to make out just how handsome and well-toned he was. At only seventeen, his muscles rippled through his vest top in a way that would make any male, man or boy, envious. His slate and blue tinged hair was styled carelessly but still looked perfect. Giggling quietly she realised he hadn't noticed her yet. As silently as she could in her plimsolls she crept towards him. She was about to jump on his back when he calmly said, "don't even think about it, Hilary."

Laughing aloud she wrapped her arms around his waist. "How did you know it was me?"

Turning around so return her embrace he replied, "because you're the only person I know brave enough to even try it." He smiled warmly at her and kissed her chastely, his crimson eyes lighting up his handsome face. "What brings you here so early?"

"I just woke up early I guess," she replied with a shrug. "Its not like I had anything else to do." He raised an eyebrow but said nothing, a trick he often used with her when he knew she wasn't telling the full story. She buckled under the silence and blurted out the truth. "Okay so I had a weird dream, more like a nightmare. It was just strange. It felt so _real. _Like everything seemed so vivid and I can still feel everything I felt in it. I've never had a dream like it. It was like waking up into a nightmare, you know?"

"No," he muttered, "but it was just a dream."

"Yeah but it felt so _real,_" she persisted.

"Most nightmares do. That's what makes them so frightening."

"I guess," Hilary agreed, feeling the less time spent on it the better. "So what have you been up to anyway?"

"Launching," he replied, emphasising the verb with the action. "I've just felt like Dranzers been a little off balance lately but I think we've worked though most of it. I just need to raise my wrist a little higher and then she's perfect."

Hilary nodded as he demonstrated again. Dranzer was Kai's bit beast, a beautiful phoenix of red and gold. She didn't fully understand just what a bit beast was for she didn't have one but from what she did comprehend it was a mystical creature that lived in the heart of a beyblade and aided the blader in battle. Not every one was able to control one for a bitbeast chose the master and not the other way around. Most took the form of animals. For example, Max Tate and Ray Kon, other members of their team possesses bit beasts in the form of a turtle and a tiger, respectively. Others took the forms of creatures once though mythical, such as Kai's phoenix and Tyson Granger's water dragon. There were few who didn't even exist in a beyblade. Kenny's bitbeast, Dizzi, lived in his laptop computer. When training, it wasn't just about perfecting your beyblading technique but also about coordinating your attacks with that of your bitbeast. Hilary found it all quite confusing and so just stuck to fitness training for the team.

Before long her partner, Kenny, had arrived, his cheeks flushed from the warm sun and slightly out of breath. Although he arranged the teams training, he was never one to partake in it, preferring instead to remain on the bleachers with his laptop assessing and reassessing each aspect of the teams techniques and also the mechanics of their beyblade for remodelling. He was the perfect image of the class geek with thick glasses and a shirt, tie and shorts combination. However, he still managed to keep a level of normality despite what might be expected from his type's status quo. Kai nodded a greeting to him and stopped his practice.

"I noticed yesterday Tyson's shape is appearing rounded again. Call me suspicious but I think he might be altering his diet to more on the junk food side."

Kenny pushed his glasses up his nose. "Okay, you're suspicious but I think its for the right reasons. What do you suppose we do?"

"Weight monitoring. Scare the hell out of him. Tell him that if he can't maintain a healthy weight then he'll have to be here even earlier to work on his fitness. Play dumb, of course. We don't know that he's sneaking in a fast food meal every night before his dinner so we have no idea what's causing this inexplicable gain."

"Jeez, Kai," Hilary said laughing, "you're so ruthless."

"I know but he's got to learn that fitness is just as important to blading as your technique and I for one don't want to have to surrender our title just because he can't resist an extra large burger meal. In any case, I doubt he'll be unable to resist for long. As much as he loves fat-laden food, he hates circuits even more." He paused for a second and added, "also getting up early will convince him otherwise."

They were still in discussion about their schedule when Max and Ray turned up together as usual, right on time. For some time Max had been admittedly gay. He had dated a few boys but nothing had ever worked out. Ray had been with his girlfriend, Mariah, for several years having been childhood sweethearts. However, not long after Max had split up with his last boyfriend, Ray had admitted he had feelings for the cheery blonde and the two had been inseparable ever since. As far as Hilary was aware Mariah had taken it hard and Hilary was ashamed to admit she was secretly glad. She and Mariah had never really gotten on. Not ever since Mariah claimed that Hilary had stolen her best friend, Julia. The whole thing was untrue, of course, but the two still held a grudge against each other. As far as she could remember, that was the only disagreement Hilary had ever had with anyone in her entire life. She just seemed to get on with people. It was her nature.

Despite the early time, Max and Ray were in good spirits. Whenever the two were together they just seemed to be in permanently good moods. Hilary loved them for it. They waited another little while for Tyson to arrive late. No matter what time they agreed to meet, Tyson seemed to perpetually run ten minutes behind everyone else. When Hilary first met him in high school, this late coming used to drive her insane but eventually she had learned to live and let live with it. It was pet hate she had learned to live with. As usual Tyson didn't bother apologising. It was the same reason every morning: his alarm hadn't gone off. Translation? Tyson has slept right through it. Kai kept their morning formalities short and immediately their training began.

* * *

It had been another hard and gruelling day but their work was paying off. Hilary beamed with pride when she looked at the results her training schedule was producing. If they kept up this same level of work they would keep their title with no problem from any other team. She loved being a part of something so successful.

"What are you smiling about?" Kai asked, grinning back at her. He took her hand as they began to walk in the direction of her house, a routine they did every day.

Her smiled widened as she noticed how well his hand fitted in hers. "Nothing. I just think the team's doing great, that's all."

Kai grunted in agreement. "You're right. Every thing's coming together." He looked at her with a suspicious smirk. "Are you sure that's what you're smiling about?"

"Well, it _is _part of it."

He turned towards her and put his hands on her waist. "What's the other part?"

She bit her lip teasingly. "I forgot. Can you remind me?" He kissed her softly and looked at her questioningly, playing along with her little game. "I can't quite put my finger on it yet..."

She could feel his smirk as he kissed her again, this time going more deeply, allowing their tongues to touch, causing sparks to fly. Breaking apart, Kai looked at her once more. "Well?"

"Oh yeah, its all coming back to me but I've just remembered, its a secret."

Kai tutted in mock annoyance and took her hand again. "You know, I've been thinking, how long have we been together?"

"As long as I can remember," Hilary replied, smiling at the happy memories she had of their past together. "Why do you ask?"

"I don't know, I guess...do you ever see yourself with anyone else?"

Hilary shook her head firmly. "Definitely not. You're the only person for me. I've always known that. Let's face it you've only ever dated-" _Lauren, Julia, Mia, Jennifer, Fiona, Grace, Anna, Cindy, Denise, Rose, Larissa, Amanda. _Hilary shook her head violently. Pain seared through it as images of a time that didn't belong here raced through her brain, taking her to a world she never wanted to be.

Everything went black.

* * *

_It was white?! Why this white, she didn't want white?! She tried to get up but once again she felt restrained. Why was she here? Where was she?_

* * *

"...Hilary?!" Kai's voice echoed in her ears, panic rising in his voice as he shook her shoulders, willing her to regain consciousness. Her eyes shot open and he pulled her into a tight hug. "Jesus, don't scare me like that! What the hell happened?"

"I...I don't know. I think I just fainted," she replied shakily, holding her head in her hands and steadying herself back to feet with Kai's help. "I'm alright now though. It must just be the sun." She laughed nervously, unsure of herself. "What were we talking about?"

Kai looked unsure but in an instant the look had disappeared and the resumed their conversation once again. "You were saying I've only ever dated you."

"Right," Hilary agreed. "And I've only ever dated you. I just can't see how I could be with anyone else. I don't see how anyone else could be as perfect for me as you are."

He smiled at her. "You're right. We are perfect. I love you. I can see us being together forever."

Her heart skipped a beat. Of course they would be. She knew in her mind that they would be, and her heart. Kai was right. They were perfect. This was perfect. Just everything was perfect.

* * *

Please review!

jellybean-kitty


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Beyblade

Chapter 2

"_She looks like she's waking up," said that familiar voice. Hilary opened her eyes to see the same man as she had before in this place. Her heart began to beat faster as memories that she couldn't figure out rushed back to her. Everything was fuzzy. Sights, sounds, smells. Nothing made sense. The face was talking but she couldn't hear, didn't want to hear. Too many questions were running through her mind._

"_Where am I?" She demanded, interrupting him completely._

_He took in a slow breath. "Before I tell you, you have to understand that what I might tell you won't make sense right now. All I ask is that you listen long enough for me to explain what is happening to you."_

_She pulled at her restraints. "Nothing's happening to me! I've not done anything wrong. Why do you have me here like this? What do you want of me?" Once again she could feel the hysteria rising but she couldn't stop it. This stranger had her so far away from home and she didn't know why or how she'd come to be in such a position._

"_What's your name?"_

_She looked at him suspiciously. "Hilary, of course. You must know that. Who are you?"_

"_My name is Doctor Kennedy," he explained, gesturing to his identity badge. "And I do know that but I'm trying to assess your state of consciousness. You see, you've been drifting in and out of consciousness for over a month now." Hilary's eyes turned to the woman and man standing beside this so called doctor. They were in purple scrubs. If he was a doctor would they be nurses? Her mind tried to make the connection but everything just seemed to surreal. Was this state of consciousness really happening? Perhaps it was just another dream._

"_Drifting?"_

"_Yes," he answered. "About five weeks ago there was an incident where you nearly died. However, you were able to be resuscitated but ever since you've never fully been able to wake up. Instead you've been drifting between a state of deep sleep to being pseudo-awake. In about five weeks, this has been the most alert we've ever seen you. We've never been able to have a conversation with you. I would say this is progress. Perhaps you're ready to return to reality. What you went through must have been traumatic and this could be your bodies way of counteracting the stress."_

"_Stop talking in riddles!" Hilary snapped, frustration building up. "Please, can't you just tell me why I'm here? Is this a hospital?"_

_Once again, the doctor paused as if gathering his thoughts. His next words come out like they were walking on tip toes. "I need to ask you one more question before I can answer any of yours. I promise that I'll explain everything fully but first...do you remember anything at all? What is your last memory?"_

"_I remember going to my bed and waking up here. It had just been the normal night after a normal day. I'd gone to help with my team's training-"_

"_Your team's training?" Doctor Kennedy's face was filled with confusion."_

"_Yes," Hilary persisted. "Training for their beyblade tournament. We'd finished earlier than usual because Kai had been able to teach Tyson how to align his bitbeast to his latest attack and-"_

"_Wait!" he interrupted, shaking his head. "Beyblade? Bitbeasts? Who are Kai and Tyson?"_

_She sighed impatiently. "Surely you've heard of beyblading? It's the most popular sport in the world just now. My team – the Bladebreakers – are the current world champions. Kai is my boyfriend and team caption and Tyson is our friend and team mate. Bitbeasts are the creatures that live inside the beyblades. They are the ones that do battle."_

_The Doctor's face visibly paled. "Hilary, how long have you been with these people?"_

"_Why, my whole life. Only I've just joined the team about a year ago. Kai's been my boyfriend for as long as I can remember. We've just always been together. I've answered all your questions, its time for you to answer mine. Where am I and why am I here?"_

_He swallowed. "You're here because you're a patient. This is the West Bridge Mental Institution."_

"_No," she whispered. She looked around her and suddenly it fit. The white, the doctors, the restraints. They though she was crazy, they thought she was insane. But she wasn't! She didn't belong here she belonged_

* * *

Hand in hand with Kai, strolling along the beach, the dream was still fresh in her mind. Saturdays were always their days together. Since the weather was so nice they had decided to go a walk along the beach and take in the sun. Later on they were going to go for a meal and then to his house. Happy as she was in his company she couldn't get that horrible feeling that something was wrong. What if it had been a prediction for the future? No that was silly. She wasn't a psychic or anything remotely similar to that. Reality was that it had just been a dream. A scarily realistic dream but a dream nonetheless.

Kai stopped suddenly causing Hilary to nearly fall. She looked at his questioningly meaning to make a joke but his face looked serious as it studied hers. His crimson eyes were intense, like they were trying to search her very soul. Even now the feeling still sent shivers of delight up her spine.

"What was I just asking you?"

Hilary smiled uneasily. "Something about the tournament?"

"I thought as much," Kai shook his head. "You've not seemed yourself all afternoon. What's with you today? Your head's been in the clouds. I've barely been able to get more than a sentence out of you."

"It's nothing, really," Hilary replied but she could see she wasn't fooling him.

Kai squeezed her hand. "Hilary, no one knows you better than me. You can't lie to me. You know you can tell me anything."

Laughing nervously she walked on ahead of him, a light spray of sand on her ankles letting her know he was following her. "It's really nothing. I mean that. Just me being silly, but I had another dream last night. It was so...strange. I dreamed that I woke up without a clue where I was. In a white room, tied down to a bed with strangers around me. The first time my mother had been there but the second time it had been a doctor. He said I'd been a state of unconsciousness or something similar for weeks. I asked him where I was and he said I was in an asylum."

"An asylum?" Kai asked, the tone of his voice telling her what she already knew. "There isn't an asylum around here for miles. Hundreds of miles actually. We've no need for them. Hilary, it was just a dream. Dreams aren't real."

"You don't understand," she insisted. "It had _felt _so real."

"This," Kai said, kissing her head, "_this _is real. I'm real, you're real. I can't believe you've gotten yourself so worked up about it. Have you even had a feeling like you've been in the same place before, in the same situation even though you know its just not possible?"

"Like deja vu?"

"Yeah. Deja vu."

Hilary shrugged. "Well sure."

"Didn't that feeling seem real?"

"Yeah..."

Kai nodded, his point proven. "But you know its not. That's what a really life like dream feels like; a sort of deja vu. It feels real-"

"But I know its not." Hilary sighed. "You must think I'm such an idiot. It just freaked me out a little, thats all."

Kissing her softly, Kai replied, "Of course I don't think you're an idiot. Its only natural to be weirded out by some dreams." He hugged her so tightly she could feel the beating of his heart and smell the familiar scent of his cologne. She breathed it in, allowing herself to take comfort in the familiarity of everything.

Although they continued on, Hilary couldn't push the strange feeling from her mind. It just felt like it didn't fit. A one off dream would be fine but having a continuation? Was that possible? Especially one so vivid. Every detail had been the exact same to the slight staining on the wall underneath the window to the tiny mole on the doctor's chin. When yesterday he had been clean shaven this time he had had a slight stubble. Perhaps there would be another episode tonight when she slept. She wondered who would join in. Her mother? Father? Would she be alone?

"What's been your worst nightmare?" She asked suddenly, merely out of curiosity. "Have you ever had a dream like mine before?"

Kai thought for a second. "I can't really think on it. Maybe when I was younger and still had dreams about the monster in the closet that would be my worst one. I've not had a nightmare in years. I've had dreams – weird dreams but nothing like what you're describing. Don't tell me you're still thinking about it?"

"No," she lied, faking a grin, "but I was still thinking about dreams in general. You've never told me about any of your dreams."

Kai shrugged. "You've never asked."

Hilary was about to protest when she thought about it again. When was the last time she had told Kai about a dream of hers? Running her mind through the years, she found that she not only could she not remember telling him – or anyone – but that she also couldn't remember dreaming at all. That couldn't be right. A life without any dreams? How could that be possible?

The more she thought about it the stranger it seemed. Roaming through her memories she found that not a single one was fully detailed, like an artists sketch not yet completed. Her elementary school class was a mix of blank faces apart from those of her friends and those who had been in her life lately. She thought back to Christmases and birthdays where the routine was the same but the gifts a mystery. Suddenly she felt incomplete, like a puzzle with a missing piece. The feeling went into the pit of her stomach and she felt physically sick, like she was about to vomit. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt like that. In fact, her memories told her she'd never felt like that. Suddenly, her head began to throb, a pain searing through it like a red hot poker. This feeling, as unfamiliar to her as the face of a stranger.

She looked at Kai and saw he was looking back at her with concern evident in his _purple _eyes. What? She looked back again. They were crimson. Kai's eyes were crimson. Always had been. She raked a hand through her hair. What was wrong with her? She felt like she was going out of her mind.

"Hilary," Kai said, squeezing her hand tightly. "Are you okay?"

"No, I really don't think I am. My head's splitting and I sort of feel a little bit sick."

Kai put a hand on her head. "You've not got a fever."

"It's not that kind of sick."

She looked at Kai and he looked back at her. "Do you want to go home?"

"Kind of," she smiled sheepishly. "I'm really sorry. I know this is supposed to be our day but I just feel horrible."

He shook his head and grinned at her. "Don't worry about it. When you're unwell, you're unwell. We'll phone for a cab back to yours and I'll give you a call later on tonight, okay?"

She smiled, wondering just how it was she'd med such a wonderful boy and managed to call him her own. "Have I ever told you how great you are?"

"It's okay, I already know," he replied with a cheeky smile.

* * *

Lying on her bed, Hilary still couldn't shake the feeling of confusion from her mind. Why were things missing? Memories didn't just disappear, especially ones she knew to be happy. Never in her life had she been anything but, however that didn't mean there should be whole gaps missing. How strange it seemed to be the same occasions. She could remember the happy times with her family but never a date when they occurred. She knew she had been popular and had enjoyed elementary school but none of her classmates names sprung to mind, except a selected few. How was that possible?

She closed her eyes. Maybe this he would have some answers. Perhaps it was her subconscious speaking to her? What if it wanted to tell her that something wasn't right? Like, it could be that she had some rare form of amnesia or something that made you forget minor details of your life that seemed so important at the time. Stranger things had happened. Its not like she had anything to lose. If it worked and she slipped into her dream world then maybe she could find out what was wrong with her. If it didn't work then at least she'll be well rested for tomorrow.

Making herself relax, she slowed her breathing and cleared her head of all thoughts. She hadn't felt tired but now she could feel herself getting sleepy, sinking into her pillow

* * *

_and rising up in that familiar room. Same room, same position, same restraints. This time, however, she was alone. Frowning she looked at the door. There was activity outside but not in by her room. This wasn't exactly her plan. Still, she could improvise. _

_Taking in a deep breath she began to scream. It didn't take long before she was joined by Doctor Kennedy and two nurses. She stopped immediately so they wouldn't do anything rash. She didn't know why. What could they possibly do to her? She thought nothing but she couldn't be sure. There was something in this world, this place that felt different from her normal life. It seemed more...clear? No, that wasn't the world for it. She knew what she wanted to use but wouldn't dare use it. There should always be a line between dream and wake. Using such a word in the former may seriously disrupt the latter._

"_Hello doctor," she said with a slight smile. "I think I need your help."_

_

* * *

_Please review!

jellybean-kitty


	3. Chapter 3

Um, hi. its been a very long time. Firstly I'm so sorry that I've not updated in years. It always has been something at the back of my mind but I've never had the proper motivation to finish it. Now I have. There's one chapter left of this part and then a sequel which will be very short too. I hope you enjoy and can forgive me!

Chapter 3

_Doctor Kennedy's face remained emotionless though his chest was rising up and down as he regained his breath from the brief sprint. "It's my job to help but first of all I want to know what's happening. How are you feeling?"_

"_Confused," Hilary admitted. "So confused. I've never had dreams which have felt this real before. I mean, the details of this room…I can see every crack on the wall, the slight stains on the paint. And my skin…there's marks where the restraints are and I can feel the crinkle of my nightdress over my legs."_

"_What makes you think this is a dream?"_

"_It has to be! I remember my whole life when I wake up but when I'm here I can only remember the last time I had this dream." She looked at him, looking for the glimmer in reality to prove she was right. "I can tell you every detail of the life I have when I'm not here but I don't remember what could have happened to put me here. Like, why would I be in an institution? I live at home with my mum, dad and little brother in a detached house in a nice neighborhood. Not in a place like this, so cold and unfriendly."_

"_Cold and unfriendly?" he asked._

_Hilary nodded. "Yeah. The world is a nice place where people want to help their neighbors, respect each other and live honest, good lives. There's nowhere like this. This place only exists in people's worse nightmares." She thought for a moment and then smiled. "That's it, isn't it? This is only a nightmare. One that's recurring again and again. I know that nightmares can do that."_

_Doctor Kennedy shook his head. "Hilary, this is not a nightmare. The world you're describing doesn't exist. Yes, it would be lovely if it did but the world is not like that. Human nature is not like. Not everyone does live honest, good lives. Some people do, don't get me wrong but others lie, cheat, steal, kill. When did the last war happen?"_

"_Vietnam. But after that all countries signed a peace treaty to agree that they would never war again. That's why we have the president of the Global Senate to govern all countries' laws and such to ensure mistakes like wars don't happen."_

"_Hilary, no," he sighed. "No. There is a war going on right now in Iraq with America and Britain. And there is no global senate. There is the United Nations but they don't rule over the laws of other countries. That's not their responsibility. What about natural disasters?"_

"_They happened in the past with not for the last decade."_

"_Don't you remember the tsunami that hit east Asia? Or the hurricane of New Orleans?"_

_Hilary shook her head. "Like I said nothing like that has happened for at least ten years."_

_They were silent for a second. Doctor Kennedy looked like he was thinking seriously about something, his brows knitted in contemplation. "Hilary… I don't know what to tell you. In all my years as a clinician I have never came across something like this. The world you're experiencing is not real. It's a world you created for yourself. The mind's a powerful thing, Hilary. It can make you think things are real when they're not. Ever thought there were monsters under your bed or had a feeling that something bad was going to happen even when it didn't? I know how some things can feel when they're not but you have got to listen to me. Think about it, if I pinch you can you feel it?"_

"_Yes," she replied. "It feels just the same as if you pinched me when I'm awake. I don't think you're right. This can't be real and even if it was, who would choose to live in a world full of disaster and war and dishonesty?"_

"_But at least you're living. Lying on a hospital bed dreaming your life away isn't living Hilary."_

"_Five weeks isn't exactly dreaming my life away."_

"_No, it's been nine weeks. The last time we spoke was four weeks ago."_

"_What?" Hilary shook her head. "I only had a dream yesterday. See, this is how I know none of this is real. Time doesn't even make sense!" She smiled. "I didn't even need to ask you the question too get an answer."_

"_What was the question?"_

"_My question was you my subconscious trying to tell me something but you're not. You're just my subconscious trying to confuse me."_

"_Why did you think your subconscious was trying to tell you something?"_

_Hilary shrugged. "I thought I might have some kind of minor detail amnesia kind of thing."_

"_Why is that?"_

"_I was thinking about things and realized that I couldn't remember the exact time anything in my life happened or the exact people they happened with. I think that's just a coincidence though. I had a weird dream and I looked into it too much, like it meant something. I think the only thing this means is that I need to watch less scary movies."_

_She smiled and closed her eyes preparing to wake up in her safe, real world. She felt Doctor Kennedy approach her and opened her eyes again and watched as her restraints were undone. She threw a questioning look at him but he held up a finger indicating for her to bear with him. He disappeared out the door but came back a moment later holding something in his hand._

"_Do you own anything like this?" He held out a clay dolphin. It was lopsided and uneven with a cheap kind of paint covering it. Hilary shook her head, she would certainly not buy something as out of shape as that. "Of course not, my four year old daughter made this in her nursery class. Needless to say it's one of a kind. Take it and see what happens when you drift again. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't. I have an idea that it might just prove something. Until then, I suppose I'll see you soon."_

_Hilary accepted the paperweight in her hand and closed her eyes again. She felt _

* * *

it disappear. Opening her eyes she looked around her familiar room. The bright sunlight lit it up through a slit between her curtains. She stretched her arms above her head and let out a small yawn as she felt herself waking up properly, refreshed after a long night's sleep. She may not enjoy the dreams she has with the doctor but they certainly guarantee a good night's sleep. She opened and closed her fists just to prove to herself that nothing had remained in them. Grinning happily she was satisfied. It had been a dream and nothing else. Just a stupid dream. She felt a little silly, thinking about how worried she had been the previous day. Kai must have though she really was crazy, how embarrassing. He would understand though, he always did.

She slowly got out of bed with the intention of opening her curtains to see what kind of day it would be. She had a feeling already that it was going to be a bright sunny day, her mood was so cheerful that the only weather that could possibly make sense was clear skies and warm sun. As she crossed the room she noticed strange object on the floor reflected in her mirror. With unease she turned to see what she had dropped. She told herself it must have been something she had dropped the night before and not noticed; obviously that was what it was. With bated breath she walked towards it but knew exactly what she was going to find before she had even reached it.

There on her floor was the paperweight Doctor Kennedy had given her in her

_Reality_

dream.

She screamed. Not the scream of joy or excitement she was used to but the scream of fear. The sound was alien to her. As was the feeling. All around her it felt as if the walls were melting into each other. What was happening? What was real? She grabbed the paperweight in her hands, feeling the same consistency and weight as she had with Doctor Kennedy. It has the same mishappen form, the same cheap paint, the same smudges, the same everything.

Her room door flew open and her parents ran in, their alarm and fear evident from their faces. Her dad grabbed her shoulders while her mum quickly assessed her room and body looking for signs of injury or trouble.

"What's going on?" her dad asked, panic in his voice, "What happened?"

Unable to say anything she held out the dolphin for her parents to see at which they looked at each other and laughed.

"We know your brother didn't do a great job with his school project but surely its not that scary!" Her mum laughed. Hilary looked at her, fear stricken and confused. "He was going to give you it as a gift so her left it in your room to surprise you. Do me a favour and don't tell him you think it's the scariest thing you've ever seen because he might get a little bit upset."

"No, you don't understand," Hilary cried, "I saw this, I had a dream and I saw this. How could it be here?"

Her parents looked at each other with an expression Hilary couldn't explain. It was like…blank? Not all there? Ghost? "You probably woke up in the night, saw it without realizing and then dreamt about it, honey," her dad offered as explanation.

"Yeah, probably," Hilary returned with a forced smile even though her heart was beating like never before. Her mind was running through every possibility. Could her parents be right and she was freaking herself out? As much as she wanted to believe it she knew it couldn't be. There was no way she could know exactly what it would look and feel like if she had only just seen it. And it would never have ended up on her floor. Suddenly **reality flipped. She looked outside and it had begun to rain. The first time she could ever remember it raining. How could such a beautiful day turn so wicked so fast? She looked towards her parents but they too had gone. When had they even left the room? Without thinking she ran out, fled down the stairs and out the front door of her house. The rain was heavy and cold on her skin. She had never felt it like this in all her life. Or had she?**

_What _was _re_al?

**As she ran she felt her shoes splash through a puddle and stopped. When had she gotten dressed? In her panic she hadn't even though about changing out of her pajamas but not only was she now wearing shoes but also a skirt and rain jacket. She also still had the paperweight in her hand. Looking across the street she saw she had ran to Kai's house. She wasn't even aware that she had ran that far or in that direction. And for the apparent distance she didn't even feel the least bit tired. In fact, she couldn't feel anything apart from her emotions. Not her heart beating or her lungs filling with air. Nothing. She blinked but for all she knew her eyes had stayed open. Nothing was making sense. Why was this happening? How could the doctor have been right when everything had seemed to perfect, so great? Surely this couldn't be really all a figment of her disturbed imagination? Surely she really wasn't some psychotic girl imprisoned in a mental institution who had decided the best reality was one she could make herself? **

**She rapped on the door loudly and almost immediately Kai answered, smiling at first but then concern clouded over. "Hilary, is everything okay? You're soaked! Why didn't you call and I could have picked you up?"**

**Without answering she entered his house and headed straight for his room. She knew that when she turned around he would be shutting the door behind them both. And she was right. "I had that dream again." Kai said nothing. "Only this time it was different. I actually had a conversation with the doctor guy. Do you think it strange that this is the first day its rained since either of us can remember? Do you think it strange that there hasn't been a natural disaster for nearly six years or a war in our lifetime? Do you think it strange that the newspaper never report crimes? Do you think it strange that there has been no outbreak of disease anywhere in the world, no homelessness reported, no poverty? Do you think it strange that not once have any of us been sick, even for a day?" They were both silent for a few seconds as Hilary's eyes burned into Kai's, imploring her to make some kind of logical reason for what was going on. "Furthermore do you think it strange that I was given this in my dream and woke up with it lying on my floor?"**

**Steadily, Kai's hand reached out and took the paperweight from her. Without a word he crushed it in his hand and let the pieces crumble to the floor. "Are you being serious? Hilary, you are insane. You think you're living in, what? An altered universe? And just because you think some guy gave you a stupid model in a dream? Hilary, your brother was maybe playing a prank on you. Didn't that ever cross your mind? And haven't you ever heard of de-ja-vu? You're a smart girl Hilary, smart girl's don't have crazy ideas like this."**

"**De-ja-vu?" Hilary questioned**

"**Yeah, it's a French word. It's the feeling that something's happened before but hasn't really or the feeling that you've been to place when you're visiting it for the first time. Yeah, it's a weird feeling. Yeah, it can mess with your head but for God's sake Hilary when people get it they don't suddenly assume that they've living in a different reality. The mind's a powerful thing, Hilary. It can make you think something's real when it's not."**

"**How do you explain that lack of war, famine, natural dictator, disease?"**

"**Good fortune," Kai replied sharply. "Why do you want these things to happen? Do you think the world can only be real if there's evil in it or do you just want people to suffer?"**

**Knitted her eyebrows, Hilary frowned. "Of course I don't want it to happen but they do. They're supposed to. That's how population is controlled, that's one of the principles of biology. How do you explain how our world population is controlled?"**

**Kai shook his head. "I can't believe you're saying this. Hilary, what's happened to you?"**

"**I woke up!" She screamed. "That's what happened to me."**

"**No, you fell asleep. You fell asleep, had some freaky dream and now you are acting psychotic. This whole thing is insane and it's clear that I can't talk any sense into you, can I?" He walked to the door and help it open. "Come back when you decide to stop being so crazy and listen to sense."**

**Blinking back tears, Hilary stood up. "I don't know what's real anymore but I'm going to find out and I know how to." Walking past him she felt the coldness of his glare but ignored it. She didn't have the time to dwell on Kai's feelings, especially if they didn't even exist. She needed proof and she had only one way to find it. She ran across the street, ignoring the oncoming car that managed to stop despite the close proximity it had been to her. She barely noticed. The rain was still pouring down but she barely felt it as she travelled down to the next street to sit in the park under the shelter. There, as she knew there would be, was a selection of flowers growing in the town's summer display. Geraniums, tulips, daffodils; flowers of summer. She picked one of each so she had a bouquet in her hand.**

"**Stop, what do you think you are doing?" cried a park warden who had just sighted her. Hilary turned round but refused to let the surprise make her drop her prize. "That's town property, do you realize the effort that went in to create these displays? We won't have vandals destroying it."**

"**I'm hardly vandalizing it, I only took a few!" Hilary protested.**

"**Thieving then," the warden retorted. "You can't take what doesn't belong to you. But I'll tell you what, if you just give them over to me I'll forget this whole thing and you won't get into trouble."**

**Hilary shook her head. "No, I need them. They're picked now, what difference does it make if I take them with me or not? Surely the damage is done?"**

"**You don't want to do this, Hilary. You know you don't."**

**Nodding, she sighed. "I know I don't. But I have too." **

**The warden grabbed her arm, causing an alarmed gasp to escape between her lips. "Don't do this. Don't ruin everything."**

**With all her strength she broke free from the tight grip and ran as fast as she could back in the direction of her house, ignoring everything else. In what seemed like no time at all she was back in her room, not even sparing a second to greet her parents. Once safe she grabbed her chair and propped it under the door knob so no one would be able to enter. Flowers in hand she lay down on her bed, ignoring how uncomfortable her wet clothes felt on her skin and bedsheets. She closed her eyes**

* * *

**and woke up once again in the increasingly familiar surroundings. This time her hands were not strapped down but she was immediately aware that nevertheless they were empty. Sitting up, she was aware of how quickly her heart was beating, like at any point it may break through her chest. Hesitantly she glanced around the room. Nothing. Cautiously she slid off the bed onto her feet but they gave way underneath her. With a hiss of pain she crumpled onto the floor. She grabbed her leg and shook it but there was no feeling. Deciding this was a problem to be worried about later she ducked under the bed and looked all around the floor. It was spotless. There was nothing there that shouldn't be.**

Suddenly she knew.

"Doctor Kennedy!" She cried, "Doctor Kennedy please come here, I need you!"

Almost immediately he appeared at the door with an overcoat on. Seeing her on the ground he immediately went to her aid and helped her back onto the bed. "You've been in a coma for such a long time your legs are going to need some time to waken up properly. As will the muscles in your arm and the rest of your body. But we can deal with that later. Hilary, I'm so glad you're awake. For the last three days I've been worried I would miss you. What happened?"

Without warning tears were flowing down her face uncontrollably. "It's not real. The place I've been living in isn't real."

The doctor took a seat on her bed and took her hand. "I know. Its hard to accept but admitting it is the first step. How did you finally convince yourself?"

She wiped her eyes with her hands, wincing at the shivers sent down her spine by the alien feeling of little control. "I tried to take something back and I couldn't. It isn't here but when I take something from here it ends up there. I don't want to go back there again, I want to stay here where it's real. I can't let myself get sucked in." Doctor Kennedy continued to look at her, empathy evident in his eyes, but remained silent. "What can I do? Please help me, I don't want to live a lie anymore."

Taking a deep breathe in he squeezed her hand. "You have to cut all ties that keep you there. Those are what stops you from returning to the real reality."

"Cut all ties? What do you mean?"

"I mean," he replied gravely, "is that you'll have to put and end to the things that keep you there. Or the people."

"Put an end? You don't mean Kai and my family?"

"Yes, Hilary. Yes I do."

Her eyes widened and more tears slipped out. "How can I put an end to them? They're people?"

"Hilary," he squeezed her hand again, "I mean you'll have to kill them."

* * *

Please review!

jellybean-kitty


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